Fine Young Man

The discussion in Gospel Transformation last night turned to creating a culture of openness in our church family. We talked about trusting in the gospel so much that people could share stories of sin & struggle and stories of God’s work in their lives without fear of judgment and with full conviction that they would receive grace. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this desire verbalized and there was a lot of consensus about it tonight.

My mind immediately went to Sunday morning worship time and how daunting it would be to create that culture there. I’m not sure that’s the best place to provide grace and support for tough issues. Wouldn’t we be just as much a family if that kind of care was happening in our home groups? I think so.

However, I do think it is possible for culture to change to such an extent that it does affect Sunday morning, and I just heard a story about how that can happen the other day. A friend of mind who is a minister witnessed something happen at his church that suggested a change in culture. Here are a few ways that came about that might point us in the right direction:

1. Actions of the Leaders – It all started when my friend preached a series called No Perfect People Allowed based on the book by the same title. He is also the kind of person who will love, hug and reach out to anybody anywhere.
2. Artifacts - This may be a hard part of culture to understand, but every culture has physical or concrete features that symbolize the culture. If you align artifacts with new values, you stand a great chance of changing the culture. If I remember right my friend and his leadership made a very simple physical move – they began to dress more informally on Sundays. Dress became an artifact of the culture communicating “Come as you are” to any guests.
3. Rituals & Performances - Here’s what happened a few weeks ago. A young lady in an awful predicament responded to the message. She was broken. My friend announced that he was going to pray for her and he invited anyone who wanted to come down and gather around her during the prayer. Now get this: 75…75 people came down front! What just happened? They performed “no perfect people allowed”. Now, if that sticks and becomes a ritual, my friends, we have ourselves a cultural transformation in that church.

Those are some first stabs at it. What thoughts do you have about how we can create a culture of openness?

I had intended to post on the day I heard the sad news of Al & Tipper Gore’s separation. You can read an informative article about a sad trend called ’silver divorce’ here. When I think of Al & Tipper while they were on the national scene, I remember a charming couple, having fun and in love. I am truly saddened by the news of their separation, and I have a lot of questions of how a couple can walk away from a 40-year marriage. I just don’t know.

Last Saturday, with the ending of one marriage fresh in the press and in my mind, I was privileged to witness a marriage beginning. Our new youth minister, Brent, and his fiance (now wife), Terra, were married. It was beautiful, light and funny and filled with endearing moments. One of those was when the couple whispered personal vows to each other while laughing, crying and praying together. We didn’t get to hear what they were saying but we were blessed to watch as they shared their love with each other. I couldn’t help but be filled with hope that this marriage, beginning as it did so strongly in the Lord, would stand the test of time and be a witness to a watching world.

All this reminded me of something I heard Tom Wright say recently. In a chapel at Wheaton on the book of Ephesians (found here), he stated that marriage was a SIGN of the union of heaven and earth, and he stressed how important that SIGN will be in our emerging world. I like that thought. Strong, healthy, loving marriages will be a SIGN that heaven and earth are coming together and Jesus is Lord of them both.

Jesus said in John 7:24, “Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.”